TAMIL MARRIAGES SURVIVING WITHOUT JHATAKAM PORUTHAM

Human being is the most complex creature on Earth. A creature who is complex to understand as several feelings takes place inside one body. Our world is divided into different countries which are divided into states and regions. Every state has its population following a unique tradition and number of rituals which are the proof of their existence.

People spend their whole life following their culture and traditions. They believe that following the footsteps of their ancestors is the only aim of their life. One such tradition is Jhatakam porutham which means matching the jhatakam of the girl and boy to unite them in one bond called marriage. This is done by a Tamil astrologer who is well versed with the stars and the customs of Tamil people. When it comes to marriage, a lot of things have to be decided and jhatakam is the foremost step.

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Belief of Tamilians

Most of the Tamilians believe that Jhatakam is an important part of their tradition and it should be followed at any cost. Well, some people see the other side of the coin believing that couples are made in heaven and people will find them on Earth without the help of any astrologer or jhatakam. However, the number of such people is growing in Tamil culture. Instead of considering the jhatakam of the boy and girl, they show interest in the education, talents, hobbies, income and family background of the boy and girl. This can be said as a fair trade.

Some people have this feeling that if they will not follow the old customs, they might not have a bright and happy future which generates fear in them and they are bound to follow them. Those who initiate to see beyond these fears are the ones who write history. There are several examples where Tamil people are not following the old tradition of Jhatakam porutham and are happy in their married lives. Although, their journey to convince their elder family members was quite quarrelsome but, they won their hearts with their love.

Change in tradition

Now is the time that we all must understand that rituals are just to guide us and not to bind us. People made these traditions for their convenience and so, they should be used for the same without giving a feeling of burden of any of us. Many states of India are backward in language, studies and even earning capacity but, everyone known the changing environment around them.

Tamil Nadu is one such state which has shown tremendous development in the last few years. Tamil people are not only learning new things but, are finding a way to link up to the modern India. The young generation is one strong link to do so. But, the old age people also have to give up their stubborn traditions and see the other side of life. Our customs and traditions will always be with us but, our life will end soon if we will not enjoy it.

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JHATAKAM PORUTHAM: A TRADITION OR COMPULSION?

Marriage is a great decision between two people. In Tamil Nadu, families take this decision on behalf of the boy and girl with the help of matching their kundalis. Tamil people call it Jhatakam porutham and the astrologer decides the level of compatibility between the boy and girl. The consensus decides that the marriage should be taken forward or not. Every astrologer has a different and unique way to read the jhatakam and matching it. It is also termed as koota agreement.

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Porutham- in detail

The birth stars of the boy and girl are the mainstay of the entire study. In the ancient times, the poruthams were divided into 20 parts but, presently only 10 are been followed. As per these poruthams every person has a zodiac which is made up of 27 birth stars called as the nakshatras. The navgrahas of every person is influenced by the zodiac. The 10 kootas are as follows:

  • Rajju
  • Rasi
  • Ganam
  • Dinam
  • Yoni
  • Stree deergham
  • Vasya
  • Vedha
  • Rasiyathipaty
  • Mahendram

However, there are numerous methods of executing Jhatakam porutham by the astrologers. Most of the astrologers consider date of birth a major variant. This method is even followed in other parts of the country like Kerala, Andhra Pradesh, Karnataka, etc. Under this method, the date of birth, time and place of birth of the boy and girl are taken along to match with each other. With the help of this information, the rashi chart is prepared.

Significance of date, time & place

It is very important to know the right time, date and place of birth else, it can result in wrong interpretation and conclusions. With the help of expert astrologers who are well versed in this study, people can predict quiet well about the future of the two. Porutham can reveal lot many things about one’s character, whether it is the boy or the girl.

Matching porutham is a part of tradition in Tamil Nadu and as Tamil people respect their traditions, it becomes a compulsion for them to follow it in every marriage. On the basis of the rashi chart of the boy and girl, their properties are being checked and evaluated. This is even followed in love marriages wherein the vasya porutham is of major importance. However every kind of marriage requires the guidance of porutham to avoid any bad future situations.

Some people follow it as a tradition and some as a compulsion. Families which are orthodox and whose elder family members believe a lot in porutham sometimes follow this tradtion. The younger generation find it a burden to follow these old traditions in every marriage even when all the things seem to be fine. In the last few years, many changes have taken place in India and we are looking forward for more change. People are turning towards the modern India concept and coming out of these binding traditions. It is important to focus on the personality of the couples and not on what the stars say.

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Is matching Jhatakam Porutham necessary in Tamil marriages?

India is known for its tradition, diverse culture, numerous languages and the unity of people of different religions. Talking specifically about the Tamil tradition, Tamil people are very emotional regarding their language and culture hence, they follow their ancestral rituals.

There are many things which we need to follow because of our ancestors and traditional values. This does not mean that there is some burden rather we respect our ancestors and follow their traditions with a new modern thinking. Jhatakam Porutham is one such tradition which is been followed in Tamil marriages. Every boy and girl following Tamil tradition has to undergo this procedure.

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Marriage has always been a time taking affair no matter which type of marriage it is and in which part of the world it is been conducted. Whether we talk about Indian marriages or some marriage taking place in Sri Lanka, everyone wants to do it the way it happened in their time. Tamil Nadu is also one such state of India where most of the marriages are completed with Jhatakam Porutham. We may call it a formality but this formality is kind of necessary in all the cases.

Most of the Tamil families are said to be of orthodox nature therefore, it is essential to follow the old traditions. Tamil astrologers sometimes scare people about not following the rituals and people who are superstitious have no other option than following the patrika matching tradition. Although with the growing advancements in technology and adaption to modern culture, people have learned to bend the traditions as per their convenience.

Generation gap

Today’s generation do not want to be bounded by rituals and customs but, still it is a tough fight to convince the people of the age of grandparents and specifically old age people who do not want to change. This always becomes a reason of argument and fights between the family members. However old age people also need to understand the jhatakam is not always necessary to be matched when families have good understanding and their kids are ready to get united.

Importance of marriage

Marriage just seems a word but, it is a very long journey which can be successful only by equal participation of both the families. Marriages should not be subject to ant rashi or stars or jhatakam but, they should be fixed on the personality of two people. The main concern for every Tamil family is the cast that the boy/girl should be Tamilians. If the boy and the girl understand each other and are ready to spend the whole life with each other then, the families should not have any problem. In this case, the families will also develop a good understanding between each other and will no longer be stuck into any quarrels or arguments.

It cannot be determined that matching jhatakam is necessary or not as it totally depends on the understanding of the Tamil families. Everyone should adapt to the changes and give a chance to the new generation as well.

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Marriage dating: Does it even exist?

Marriage as an institution has been around for long before our forefathers. Marriage is still one of the few institutions which continues to flourish and is based on a system of mutual belief, respect, commitment and adjustment. Commitment and adjustment are at the physical and, more importantly, at the emotional level. In the modern day of digital generation it has become even more important to know ones partner before tying the knot. With large number of people looking for their partners online and things moving forward faster, dating remains one of the means to know your would be partner.

How big is it in India

Marriage dating, or dating with marriage as the aim is a relatively newer trend in India. With matrimonial sites being the means of choice towards finding the perfect one and with most individuals preferring to do the “looking” on their own, dating becomes an essential. A study says that almost 30% of people in cities and metros, who date, are doing so with marriage in mind. Of course the numbers are much lesser in smaller towns and in the rural areas.

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What to keep in mind while Marriage Dating

While being a new concept and with the popularity of marriage dating increasing with time there are certain pitfalls. Marriage dating can lead people to be duped, can be unsafe and can also lead to heartbreak. Though these are more uncommon; certain dos and don’ts which one must keep in mind include; one must develop a sense of confidence in the person you are meeting for the first time. Beware of frauds. You should divulge information slowly over a period of time as it will keep you and your secrets safe and away from misuse. Also, initially you should meet with an aim to know more rather than fall in love. Also, have a wide network and meet maximum people even if at the same time. It will widen your horizons.

How Marriage dating helps

Marriage dating is a superb idea for those who are looking to tie the knot but don’t know the people they want to meet. It gives them the opportunity to meet and know more of the person before settling on them. You can never know a person enough, but dating gives you the opportunity to meet a wide variety of people and to know your own likes and dislikes as well as understand what your partner wants. It is an iterative process of knowing you own self.

While marriage itself can be difficult to enter, marriage dating ensures that you have enough time to make up your mind about the person. It’s here to stay and is a thing of the day.

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Marriage dating: A welcome change from the daily boring routine

The trend of online dating is fast picking up all over the world and the latest entrant in this field is marriage dating. It is the perfect way to meet your would be partner and know all about him/her before tying the knot. In fact most couples do not want to go the traditional way of finding mates now as there is an enigma and charm of spending time with your life partner before marriage.

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Everyone today is embroiled in their routine lives of work, home and work again with no or very little time left to seek love or experience the first flutters of romance. Hence, the virtual world of online dating and marriage dating work wonders and is doing exceeding well. It just opens a whole new world of probable people you would like to spend the rest of your life with. It also adds some fun and excitement to an otherwise dull and mundane routine life. But there are a few things that one needs to keep in mind while engaging in such activities. We help you understand them.

Get it right– Today; there are a plethora of online dating sites that cater to the needs of those looking for love or at least the likely chance of finding love. However, one needs to be careful and correct in making the right profile in order to attract the right person. Ensure that your profile depicts the real you with a small brief about yourself, your interests, passions and hobbies. Put up a natural looking yet nice picture and also write about your expectations from the person. This will help filter out the junk and only likeminded people will contact you.

Go niche– Also, these days there are targeted sites that focus on interests like marriage, lifestyle and religion. Get onto one of the sites that deal with marriage dating so that there are more chances of finding someone like minded as well as like-intentioned. Else you will take the trouble to meet someone only to find out that he was only interested in flirting or having a fling. Marriage is a serious matter and needs you to have well intentioned and thoughtful individuals seeking the same thing as you do.

Less is more– Have a good time on your first date- share stories, get to know each other but don’t stretch it too long. Keep something for the next time you meet. Keep him intrigued about you so that the spark remains. Marriage is like a marathon and hence, you need to pace yourself well so that it remains interesting in the long run.

While wading through these marriage dating sites and enjoying all the fun and excitement that comes along, just be a little cautious. Add a dash of instinct with a pinch of common sense and you will definitely find “the one” made for you.

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How Asian Girls Are Different From Their European Counterparts?

The difference between Asian girls and European girls has always been an interesting topic of discussion among many young guys all around the world.  They are extremely different in terms of their physical features, lifestyles, attitudes and relationship. Don’t you wish to know all this before getting into Asian dating?

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Europeans are bigger in size and taller in height compared to Asians

Broadly speaking, Asian girls are skinny and small compered to European counterparts. You can also find very fat or tall Asian girls but they are limited in numbers and these girls are very charming and beautiful as well.  Smooth skin and beautiful smile can also be associated with Asian women. European girls are taller and bigger than Asian girls and they are extremely beautiful and charming as well.

Different ethos

You can find a harmonious coexistence of physical beauty and inner characteristic in an Asian girl. Her caring attitude towards the partner is really appreciable and she always wants to be in the company of her boyfriend without being dominating. Most Asian girls have different ethos about dating and family than most of the European girls. In a European girl, you can find a harmonious blend of strong individuality and physical beauty and they always demand mutual respect from their partners.

European girls take their own decisions and the Asian girls seek the opinion of the parents

Asian girls respect their parents in the best manner and they follow their advice on relationship sand dating to a great extent. The parents of European girls do not get involved with the personal decisions of their children and they leave to the girl to choose what she likes.  This practice is getting popular in Asian culture but not as strong as in European culture.

Individual oriented and family oriented approach

Family bonding is pretty strong in Asian families and every member takes part in the decision making process, be it choosing a dating partner or job or any other thing. In a European family, bonding is definitely there and they perceive it in different way. In Europe, individual decisions carry more importance and it is the prerogative of the individual to take decisions in their lives. Others can say what they feel but the girl has to take the final decision. In an Asian family, parents guide the girl to take a final decision. This family oriented approach can be seen in every aspect of her life.

Asian girls are cute and the skinny figure makes them attractive. White girls are gorgeous and they have a lot of sex appeal. The facial features and the exotic blonde hair easily catch the attention of any man. When you compare European girls and Asian girls, no one can be described as their superior and each one has their own advantages and disadvantages. When it comes to conventional femininity, Asian girls stand taller but the physical features of European girls are more refined and appealing. Most of the Asians are trained to cook but many European girls do not want to spend too much time in the kitchen.

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How Asian boys Are Different From Their American Counterparts?

What is the difference between an Asian boy and an American boy? What changes you need to make while dating an Asian or American body? These are some of the questions that many girls are searching for answers.

Independent attitude and dependency

When it comes to Asian dating, Asian boys live with their parents until they get married. At the mean time; American boys are taught to earn some cash even when they are studying and this approach makes them more independent at a younger age itself. Asian boys are more dependent on parents and   their traditional upbringing makes them less independent at an early stage. They can be as independent as an American when they start earning and the dependency factor always remains with them. It can be financial security, emotional security or relationship security.    Asian culture gives importance to family and collectivity while the Americans lead a more independent and self centered life.  This difference has to be taken into consideration while dating with an Asian or American boy.

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American boys are more adventurous compared to Asian counterparts

This aspect is also a part of the upbringing. A fearless attitude can be associated with American boys. It does not mean that Asia boys are cowards or fearful people. They are adventurous in their own ways but these character traits are not really visible in an Asian boy. The American guys are not apprehensive is discussing sex with you and they follow carefree attitude in life. The Asian guys are more conservative when it comes to discussing sex and these people often talk about friendship and other related aspects. You can expect them to talk about sex when they are comfortable with you.

Asian guys are more emotional compared to American boys

Asian people, in general are emotional people and they are romantic as well. American boys are romantic but they are not highly emotional. They move on with their lives fast and, repentance or sense of guilt does not find a strong place in their dictionary. They are fun loving and enterprising guys. Asian boys are humorous and friendly but they are sensitive and a bit conventional. Although many of these boys show some affinity towards the western lifestyle, their strong upbringing allows them keep their feet on the ground while assimilating the American attitude towards life.

Human beings are different in many ways and the Asian and American boys are also different. Each one derives values based on their upbringing and the society in which they live. If you are not reasonably familiar with the American culture, you should not plan to date an American boy. Similarly; if you do not have proper understanding about the Asian culture, you must not make efforts to date an Asian boy.  There are no hard and fast rules but you may make things really messy and your dating efforts can become ineffective. You need to make efforts in learning the American culture if you want to date an American guy. Quite similarly, you have to explore and study the Asian culture prior to start dating an Asian boy.

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